In my young years I took pride in the fact that luck was called a lady. In
fact, there were so few public acknowledgments of the female presence that
I felt personally honored whenever nature and large ships were referred to
as feminine. But as I matured, I began to resent being considered a sister
to a changeling as fickle as luck, as aloof as an ocean, and as frivolous as
nature. The phrase “A woman always has the right to change her mind” played
so aptly into the negative image of the female that I made myself a victim to
an unwavering decision. Even if I made an inane and stupid choice, I stuck by
it rather than “be like a woman and change my mind.”

Being a woman is hard work. Not without joy and even ecstasy, but still
relentless, unending work. Becoming an old female may require only being born
with certain genitalia, inheriting long-living genes and the fortune not to
be run over by an out-of-control truck, but to become and remain a woman
command the existence and employment of genius.

The woman who survives intact and happy must be at once tender and tough. She
must have convinced herself, or be in the unending process of convincing
herself, that she, her values, and her choices are important. In a time and
world where males hold sway and control, the pressure upon women to yield their
rights-of-way is tremendous. And it is under those very circumstances that the
woman’s toughness must be in evidence.

She must resist considering herself a lesser version of her male counterpart.
She is not a sculptress, poetess, authoress, Jewess, Negress, or even
(now rare) in university parlance a rectoress. If she is the thing, then
for her own sense of self and for the education of the ill-informed she must
insist with rectitude in being the thing and in being called the thing.

A rose by any other name may smell as sweet, but a woman called by a devaluing
name will only be weakened by the misnomer. She will need to prize her
tenderness and be able to display it at appropriate times in order to prevent
toughness from gaining total authority and to avoid becoming a mirror image of
those men who value power above life, and control over love.

It is imperative that a woman keep her sense of humor intact and at the ready.
She must see, even if only in secret, that she is the funniest, looniest woman
in her world, which she should also see as being the most absurd world of all
times. It has been said that laughter is therapeutic and amiability lengthens
the life span. Women should be tough, tender, laugh as much as possible, and
live long lives. The struggle for equality continues unabated, and the woman
warrior who is armed with wit and courage will be among the first to celebrate
victory.
-Maya Angelou